HOMOSEXUALITY is fast becoming a part of our society that we need to embrace.

Homosexuality and heterosexuality are like the same coat in two different colours. They are one and the same thing, just practiced in a different manner. The lifestyle raises eyebrows, furrows brows and even makes others cringe in embarrassment and disgust. There is another lot of Kenyans who have travelled wide and far. They know that in some regions, your sexuality is as important as your name.Formal or informal introduction in such regions go like "Hey I am James. I am gay." Or "I am Patrick. I am straight." This lot has learned to accept that people are different and just because someone does not do things the way you do, it does not mean that they are wrong. I call this lot the Educated Elite .Today, they are my heroes!

 Know the terms

Homosexuality: Attraction between people of the same sex. Can be emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual.
Heterosexuality: Attraction towards people of the opposite sex.
Bi –sexual: Attraction to both members of your sex or the opposite regardless of the time or amount of attraction.
Asexual: Lacks desire or interested in sex.
Androgyny: Quality of having mixed up physical appearance and characteristics.
Transgender: General term for those whose gender identity is different from as it was at birth.
Cisgender: Opposite of transgender.
Transexual: Person contemplating or already undergoing a process to ‘modify’ their body.
Transvestite: One who dresses as the opposite sex would but has no plans of changing their body.

Not too long ago, women in Saudi Arabia were not allowed to drive cars, own property even have a bank account. This imposed a lifetime career on them as housekeepers. God created man and women to be equal but for some cultural justification the capability of the woman has been overlooked. It is painful to know that you are being discriminated against for something you have no control over; being a woman. This is exactly what the Gay and Lesbian community is being put through; discrimination for being born as they are. A good number of us are open about their sexuality and ready to explore. This is different. I am talking about that percentage of us who were born gay. When most of us spot a gay person the remark that follows is usually close to ‘Nilimwangalia nikajua kuna shida.’ Homosexuality is illegal in Kenya. Fine! We need not legalize it just decriminalize it. Let us walk a mile in their shoes.

*Mutula was born and raised in Kitui, Musyiani Area. While at Musyiani Primary School, "Seeing boys on stage dressed in female apparel and wearing make-up just turned me on." He says .He was an active member of Drama club. At the time he was shy and did not understand the desire. We all experience feelings. Comprehensible ones and sometimes complicated ones. The meaning of the feelings may never be clear to you until you meet someone who has felt that way before. They help you decode your feelings. *Mutula lacked this someone. Moreover, Kitui is one of the most remote parts of Kenya. The residents lack the simplicity of having shoes and innerwear. How do you start discovering and embracing being gay? The people have enough problems to deal with. At secondary level, he liked the boys whose physical maturity gave them female features. I am talking big thighs, fleshy boobs and apple-shaped bottoms. 

*Mutula was incredibly smart hence an alumnus of Alliance Boys High School, Nairobi. "The feeling did really just come naturally." He claimed. He had his first taste of the fruit sometime in 2010.An encounter which he says was ‘strange but nice’.

The wrath of society has caught up with him one too many times but he maintains that he is gay and proud. One time he was leaving a club in Nairobi with a partner who had previously got into a row at the club.

Coming out: the process where an individual realizes that they are not heterosexual then embraces the change and begins to tell people about their sexuality.

LGBIT: General term for the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Intersex and Transsexual community.
WsW: Women who have sex with Women.
MsM: Men who have sex with Men.
Active partner: The top.
Passive partner: The bottom.
Versatile partner: Either top or bottom.
Cross dresser: An occasional transvestite.
Drag Queen/King: Transvestite people who intend to advertise their sexuality but not pass as a woman (D. King) or a man (D. Queen.)
Curative/Hate Rape: Practice where men sexually assault lesbians in a bid to change or ‘correct’ their sexual orientation.
Pride: Social gatherings held by the LGBIT to celebrate their sexuality or protest against homophobic acts. In South Africa they may be witness around September.

 Little did they know that they had thrown a stone at a beehive full of bees. These creatures are unforgiving .They chase and sting you to repentance if not death. The enemies from the club followed the inebriated friends. The male counterpart managed to escape leaving *Mutula to be raped and beaten up badly. In this world when it comes to money and problems it is every man for himself; truly. The ordeal was hurtful, heart wrenching and even a dimmed his ego. He dared not go to the police and file a report. "I feared mockery." In some cases, the police have been reported to assault you again. The young man sought for medical attention at the Sex Workers Outreach Programme (SWOP) Clinic in AJS Building along Keekorok Road, Nairobi. Here, according to the programme’s clinical director-Dr. Joshua Kimani-the gay, lesbians and commercial sex workers are given free medical services plus sex education.

Sexuality has been heteronormatized in Africa. Society views ‘normal’ to be sexual relations between opposite sexes. It is for this reason that *Mutula has had girlfriends since primary school and would not want his family to know that he is gay. Living a double life is distressful. The parents definitely ask when he will bring a wife home and all he has are endless lies to soothe the ear. To have to lie to your own family an aspect about yourself that you cannot change .I liken it to the life of an Al Shabaab militia man yet you cannot even harm a fly. We have locked them in a shell because we refuse to accept who they are. How selfish. It is like choosing friends .We all want to invest in friendships where there is an adventure, happiness, contentment, appreciation and love. How we are attracted to a friendship or relationship is how a man gets attracted to another man or a woman does so to a fellow woman. The same laws apply.

RELIGION IS NOT AN EXCUSE

In February 2005, there was a film shown in cinemas across South Africa. It was called Trembling before God. This explained how God gave man the liberty to choose who and what he wanted to have as a partner. God checked His creation and felt that everything was perfect except that Adam was alone .God then created Eve to keep Adam company. One Jewish myth argues that there was another woman- Lilith. She was Adam’s first wife who he later rejected for Eve for refusing to be submissive to Adam. Up to this point it is clear that firstly, God had animals live with Adam but created human company for him, then had him choose whomever he wanted to be with-between Eve and Lilith. Was there an option of Steve? He was not given an option of Steve now was he? Had there been a Steve, maybe he would have chosen to be with him, or both him and Eve or neither of them. In fact, Bestiality is the crime here not Homosexuality. Everyone’s’ sexuality is shaped by our experiences and environment we live in. Therefore the assumption that God created Adam for Eve not Steve is biased. You might want to make that: God created Adam for Eve not Sheep. In addition neither the Bible nor the Qur’an condemns lesbianism.

THEIR MEANS OF PLEASURE IS NOT AN EXCUSE
A survey was done by the Durex Sexual Wellbeing on about 26,028 participants. The findings recorded that 11% of heterosexual males and females have given and received, respectively, anal sex. Heterosexuals, let you not play sanctimonious here. You do it as well.
Walking in someone’s shoes does not mean that you have to practice homosexuality. It only means that you understand them and treat them while considering their feelings. It is a common notion that there are no outright signs that reveal ones sexuality. *Mutula argues that some members of LGBIT are not that evident. Scholars such as Jerome Espinosa and Matthew Kayser however tell parent that there is a way to know if your spouse or child is gay or lesbian. For the children, the kind of creative activities and the role they take in playing and acting can expresses the how the young one prefers to express their sexuality. As for the spouse it can be as simple as too much sensitivity on minute issues or hang out joints. The LGBIT community in Kenya chooses their venues where they try to be free and entertain each other. If the revelers and management act homely, they spread the word. It becomes their entertainment haven. The areas include Club Envy along Tom Mboya Street, Club Gypsy’s along Woodvale Grove (Westlands) and Art Caffé in Westgate Mall (Westlands Area) and Rekemarie along Accra Road. Club Tacos recently I-Club, used to be their den. "The management got hostile so we moved," said Musau.

There is a parade of people who are already walking in the shoes of the LGBIT. We have institutions like GALCK (Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya) in Nairobi, PEMA (Persons Marginalized and Aggrieved) in Mombasa and KIPE (Kisumu Initiative for Positive Empowerment) in Kisumu. Reverend Alan Boesak who asked the society to welcome the gays and lesbians into the church, appoint them as clergy and even allow performance of same sex marriages in 1986 and 2004 in South Africa. Thumbs up to them!
Being an agent of change involves much more than a shift in mind set. Action is essential, my people!

Up to 10% of people in every community are lesbian or gay. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Alfred Kinsey (1948)

Sex education is the best weapon against ignorance. This can be offered to schools via counselors, provision of reading materials such as Gay Man Eats Crocodile or Fixing sex; intersex, medical authority and lived experience by Duke University Press Karkazis K.A 2008.
Advocate for human rights and anti-discrimination against the LGBIT. Cultures vary across regions. You may be victim of discrimination for reason beyond your control.
Ban Conversion therapy or Reparative therapy. This is usually done to swerve homosexuals or bisexuals into heterosexuals.
Break the ideology of heteronormatized society. This is what leads to Patriarchy whereby the male is expected to be the head of the home as the women remain the dependants. This is not only degrading to LGBIT but to the women in our society as well. Let us stop assigning gender roles and let individuals define themselves through their achievements.
Preach against homoprejudice, transphobia and homophobia. Homosexuality is not a disease. It is not infectious. Some people want diversity in their sexual identity. It is their right. Hostility or irrational fear towards them does not change them. For example: Curative Rape. Some female victims said that they never got cured women when interviewed by the Forum of the empowerment of Women in South Africa.
Avoid derogatory terms for example Homosexuals, Faggot (American term), Moffie (Afrikaans term), Dyke, Stabane or Sebatane (IsiZulu term).Use gay or lesbian since they are seen as empowering terms. Also, use the term Intersex People to define people
with both male and female sets of reproductive organs. Avoid the word Hermaphrodite as this is for snails and earthworms.

Media has a role in our society as agenda setters. This involves telling people what to think about and what to discuss. The practitioners should therefore provide information which is impartial to any sexuality. If media is homophobic then the people will be too.

Disregard myths and misconceptions about the LGBIT Community. These include notions such as: People choose to be part of the LGBIT society. Sexuality is determined by genes and other influences. Who would choose something that would leave them forlorn? Disowned by family or even sent to jail? Another myth is that bisexuality is just a phase. As long as we live, we continue to define our sexuality. Therefore it may be a transitional step or a long time identity.

Dr. Joshua Kimani, the GALCK, PEMA and KIPE fraternity, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, other peer educators, support groups, youth groups, and community builders are heroes. We cannot leave the duty to them solely. The change starts with each one of us as an individual. The seven disciples were just fishermen not doctors or reverends but change started with them.